Compliments
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” – Mark Twain
There’s no question people long to know they’re appreciated. There’s also no question that compliments are rare, especially good ones. Even Mr. Twain said, “It is a talent by itself to pay compliments gracefully and have them ring true. It’s an art by itself.”
But before I show you how, I want to discuss why you should master this art:
The Power of Words
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” – Proverbs 18:21
- Learning how to give life with your tongue will ensure people find you and stay with you. It also creates an environment of life and life equals growth – which is what you want professionally and personally.
- Likewise, “speaking death” by cutting people down, cursing them out, and railing on them will only make them leave. I know it makes great “Must See TV” but in the real world, it makes failure a guarantee.
- Lastly, don’t keep silent either. All this does is leave people to starve to death. In the absence of compliments, people will assume the worst, and then they will leave.
Now that you know the importance of words, lets organize the right ones:
Observe
Before you can speak, you have to pay attention enough to find something worth complimenting. It also ensures you speak meaningful compliments:
- Relevant: Words that are not only true, but positively effect the other person in ways that matter to them.
- Timely: Words that are spoken in the moment instead of later as an after thought.
- Specific: Words that show the person you were paying attention because they have detail and substance.
Things Are Nice, But,
Which of the following is more meaningful?
- Your guitars are gorgeous!
- I appreciate how your guitars are always polished and looking great, it shows me how much you care about the band and what we’re doing. Thanks!
Number 2, right?
Actions and/ Achievements
Number 1 is about things your guitar player owns. Number 2 is about:
- The efforts taken by your guitar player to make his guitars look gorgeous.
- Recognition for the fact that your guitar player makes this effort because of a deeper commitment to the band.
- Thanks for how much that commitment means to you personally.
Number 1 is forgettable. Number 2 will encourage your guitar player for two months.
Now that you know how, who are you going to compliment this week and what will you say?
